I don't know why, but I've had the urge to join the army lately. I think I'd really enjoy it. I think it's the idea of doing something good, for the world, that appeals to me. Of, doing something useful, for someone. If only I wasn't overweight and they would take me, I'd might just do it.
As it stands, I feel like I'm leading a hypocrital life, of a skinny girl, when I'm really a fat girl. I should be eating McDonald's and spending my evenings in front of the TV. Instead, I avoid eating out and get cranky if I don't get in an hour of physical activity each day.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
It's actually pretty easy to join the military; they'd probably take you. You may not realize this, though, if you join the military you may have to kill people.
ReplyDeleteIf it's the idea of doing something good that appeals to you, you might consider joining the Peace Corps.
I promise you they would not. My body fat percentage is over 35% so they would not. I actually dug into it a bit. I'm getting close to getting it to 35%, but I'm not there yet.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't thought about it as you may have to kill people. But, that is a good point to consider. I thought of it more of, I may lose my life doing it. I don't mean to be cavalier about it, but I don't think the idea of killing people would be a problem.
It's not the idea of doing good as much as making myself useful. I always wanted to do that by being an amazing wife and mother, but since that isn't going to happen, maybe I can be useful by serving my country.
I just hate the fact that I'm just sitting here and I feel like I'm not serving any good purpose. No one wants me, no one depends on or needs me. I'm doing my best not to be a burden but I can't help but feel that my "space" in this world, my assets, my job - that I'm taken them away from someone or some family that would be better served by them.
Like, if I didn't have my job, that is a job someone with kids could have to help support their family. So, why should I have that job over that person?
I also like the order, disciple, and challenge of the military. It suits my personality. So while others may hate it, I think Army life would, honestly, be a more or less an extreme extension of how I already live my life.
"I just hate the fact that I'm just sitting here and I feel like I'm not serving any good purpose."
ReplyDeleteGo find some problems to solve. What's the one thing in your life that if it were different would make all the difference in the world to you and those around you? You might consider solving that.
"No one wants me,.." I sincerely doubt that. This is a story that you've bought into and you are allowing it have a negative impact on your life.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Delete"What has this world come to that the default belief in others is that they are lying." I'm not calling you a liar, nor do I think you are lying. I just find it hard to accept that no man would want a high quality woman such as you.
ReplyDelete"No man has wanted me, no man currently wants me." I'm male and from what I've read on your blog you are a marketable woman with so much to offer. Given what you have to offer, I'm both surprised and saddened that you haven't been able to find someone to love and properly care for you.
I can understand and respect where you are coming from. Those who know me best also don't really understand why no man seems to want me. To quote my best friend's husband, "How is this girl still single?!"
ReplyDeleteI really truly do believe it is because I'm unattractive physically. I might be wrong, but I have had more than one case of guys being attracted to me whom I just randomly talk to online though forums, games, etc (Not a dating site). As they get to know me, they become highly attracted, but as soon as we meet up, they drop me like a hot potato. That leads me to believe it *is* my physical appearance that is holding me back. That is why I'm trying so hard to do the best with my looks as I can.
I'm also coming to accept that I will probably never find someone. In a couple months, I'll be 33. My window for kids is pretty much over because I'm not going to jump into a relationship just to have them.
Many are turned off by the fact that I'm not divorced. They just assume something is wrong with me because no one else wanted me either.