Gandhi

"Be the change you seek."

I love it, I want to live it.  How can you not appreciate those words.

Busy Day in a Busy Week

Work has been super busy and I expect it will be for the next few months.  It's busy season.  But, I love it.  I much rather be busy, and have things to do, and not have time to think about anything else but what needs to be done at that moment.  I hate being bored.

In fact, work is so busy that I am finally forced to work outside of my normal work hours.  *boo*  I'm finishing up "outside work" errands and then I'll switch back over to "work mode".  The timing is kind of bad because I have a date tomorrow that I want to get ready for before I switch back to "work mode".

Anyways, I met the lawyer guy during lunch.  I took Bernadette with me cause she has a law degree.  I figured she could help me with any legalese.  I got a little bit of the impression that the guy wasn't too pleased to see Bernie.  So, anyways, I have all the paperwork and Bernie and I plan to go over it during the weekend.  Far as I can tell, some distant relative from my father's side of the family died without an heir.  Then, I don't really understand it, but it looks like some type of entail which limits inheritance to the oldest female.  My father is the younger of two boys, but I am the oldest female of the next generations so that means I'm it.

I need to read through the paperwork.  Then there is a little bit about confirming my claim.  Blah blah blah.  Too busy to think about it tonight.

No cool dreams last night!  

     

The Lady, The Wolf, and The Fortune

I was naked.  Why am I always naked?  The only time I wish to be naked is when I'm in bed with my lover.  I was neither in bed and I have no lover.

No, I was standing in an upside down, u-shaped, hall. Walls of stone, water covering it all, falling like a waterfall, defying gravity by racing along the contours.  I looked up, but no wetness brushed by face.

I followed the moving water down towards the ground.  Water coated the flagstone floor but my feet remained dried.  I stepped forward in wonder, amazed by the phenomenon.  I felt my mouth form an "O" when the water rippled in multicolor as a result of my step.  Amused, I experimented with my steps, playing the ground like a visual music synthesizer.

My steps led me to the domed room attached to the end of the hall.  Like the hall, the floor and walls wept tears.  In the middle of the room, laid a glass casket, holding a beautiful young woman.  She looked to be in her mid-twenties and for all her beauty appeared to be sleeping.  But something in the stillness told me otherwise. 

Her long hair was dark brown, curled in ringlets around her pale heart-shaped face.  She was clad in a black long dress, something you would see out of the medieval times.  Whenever I see women with so much beauty, a wistfulness runs through me.  No woman need be that elegant.  Why couldn't just a small smidgen of that grace have been bestowed upon me?

Merlin walked up beside me.  I turned to him to speak and ask all the burning questions racing in my soul.  Where was I, who was this girl, why was I here, is this really a dream, why am I always naked...?  But before I could form my first question, he shook his head and placed his finger to his mouth gesturing silence.

I began to stomp my foot in protest and speak anyways when all faded and I found myself bolt upright in my bed.  I felt like something had been violently torn from my body.  I felt like I had just been chastised for acting like a spoiled child.  I dreamed no more, as I fell back asleep, last night.

I Wanna Take you on a Roller Coaster...

I'm really big on "exercise".  I have to get some type in everyday, usually I do 30 minutes of something in the morning.  This past week, I have been walking outside.  It's peaceful walking around before the sun blisters the air, to see the stars overhead and the changing shape of the moon.

As I approached the front of the complex, where the gates are, from the corner of my eye I saw something sparkle in the distance bushes.  I stopped to look closer and realized that the sparkle was a set of eyes.  And, I vaguely made out the shape of a dog.  But then, when the dog moved forward, I started as I wondered if I wasn't mistaken.  The "dog" looked very large and more like a wolf.  I willed him forward to see its tail.  Wolf's tails hang down, dog's tails hang up.

As if he read my mind, he stepped forward and I could see his hanging tail.  Well, I was shocked, it is rare indeed for there to be wolves still around my area.  He sat back down and just stared at me.  It was disconcerting.  I turned around and walked the way I had came.  I glanced back and the wolf was still looking at me.  I walked a little more distances and then glanced back again.  The wolf was gone.   

I talked to my friend, Bernie, about the lawyer calling me.  She agreed to come with me to act as "my muscle" =P  I'm really interested to see how that turns out.

All I can say is that the past month has been nothing short of a roll coaster.  From my whirlwind meeting with G.  To his charming romance.  To his heart breaking rejection.  To my loving e-stalker.  To a plethora of projects at work.  To slipping into another world in my dreams.  To spotting a wolf.  To being called out of the blue by a law firm.  Got to wait until the ride is over to see if I enjoyed it.

Bizarre Night Bizarre Day

I’m having a bizarre day.  I had the same dream again last night.   It was just as tangible as the previous night.  But, this time, my emotions where different.  As I flew from spring's , to fall's, to winter’s lands, I knew what to expect.  I took more time admiring the lands and fell in love even more deeply than I had the first time I visited.

As I approached the sovereign mountain, it again flashed between a dwelling, a face, and a rugged mountain side.  However, I could have sworn the face looked indulgent this time around.  I fought the snow, confident that I would win, and pressed unrelentingly forwarded in my world of white.  I emerged victoriously in the same pavilion.  

This time, I spared more time to look around.  I noticed the roses and vines winding their way up each of the pillars.  One pillar would have red roses, another yellow, pink, white, and even black.  I looped around the circle to come back face to face with Merlin.  “Lady,” he bowed to me and held out his hand.  I hesitated only a moment before I landed in his palm.  I found myself chirp in question but he made no reply or explanation as he head down into the maze that represented the heart of this ancient mountain.

All over again, my breath was swept away by the grandeur of these secret dwellings.  As we approached the Mahogany door, this time I spied runes, shining ruby red, engraved on them.  For just a second, I thought I could decipher the art, but then it was gone.  The hush fell, the same, as the doors swung open.  Rather than hiding, I took the time to look at the crowd.  There were young and old, male and female, but all eerie and beautiful – full of grace.  And all looking directly at me.

This time I was gently sat down on the throne and I took off before the old man could move back.  The pain was agonizing, but only for a second, until I burst from my confines.  I was once again naked, standing before the masses.  Why, oh why, am I always naked in this dream?

True to what I thought would happen, as one, everyone kneed and they murmured, “Lady.”

And then I woke up, again disoriented for a moment, before I realized it was only a dream.  But how peculiar for me to have such a realistic dream, twice in a row?  I wonder what my mind is trying to tell me.  Maybe I need a vacation!

But that isn’t where my strange day ends.  I received a call at 9:00 this morning.  Once I am at work, my phone gets locked in my draw and I usually don’t look at it until I leave for the day.  So, I neither heard or saw the call come in.  It wasn’t until I pulled my purse out to leave that I noticed the miss call and that I had a new voice mail.

I checked to see who called.  It was a New York number, one I didn’t recognize, so I decided to check my voice mail when I got home.  Well, it turned out to claim to be some law firm who needs to execute a will in which I am named, blah blah blah.  Sounded like a scam to me.  

But a few things made me pause.  They referred to me by my first, last, AND middle name.  Then they sited the relationship of the person in question to me.  I don’t know the majority of the people they named, but some I did.  It doesn’t make sense that I would be named in anyone’s will, especially since I’m not even the head of my household.

I figured, I can at least Google them to see if they seem legit or not.  Sure enough, the number and the name match up - turns out to be some legit fancy law firm.  The message said I could call them any time until 7:00, which meant I had about an hour and a half to call them if I was going to do so today.  I figure, what the heck.  I didn’t have anything better to do.

I spoke to a nice lady who suddenly became even nicer once I told her who I was and why I was calling.  She passed me on right away.  I didn’t have to wait at all as a man picked up the phone and explained the person in question was a long time and special client of theirs.  It was important that they deal with their last wishes correctly.  It was a long story, and they would like to meet me, at my convenience, to discuss. They gave enough details that I was curious, but it still sounded a little fishy.  And I asked how they could met when they were based out of New York.  They said they would fly down!  Fly down?  For me?  For this?  How totally crazy is that.

We set up a meeting for Thursday during lunch.  I picked the place, a restaurant, safe, near work.  And I plan on taking my friend with me.  This is totally crazy.  Wondering what all this is about.  I can’t imagine anyone in my family having much of anything to hand off.

Dreams of Reality Dreams of Dreams

Last night, I experienced the most poignant and vivid dream I have ever had.  I woke thinking, just for a moment, I had fallen asleep and entered dreamland.  I was a bird.  I couldn't tell what I looked like, but I knew I wasn't a big majestic bird.  I was a pretty small one.  But that didn't bother me.  I was soaring through the sky.  I have always wanted to fly, but this was nothing like my imagination.  It took energy and work.  It was similar to walking, it wasn't hard, but it wasn't effortless.

I looked down and around, but it was different, difficult, my peripheral vision was not the same.  But it was worth the challenge as what laid below me was breathtaking.  I felt like I had entered a world of JRR Tolkien. Tall pines, greener than green covered the land below.  I remember flying over a lake and following a river.  All the colors were more intense than normal.  The smell: fresh, clean, nature.  The sounds - peace.  As I flew - free.

As I continued forward, the spring lands turned to fall.  The green faded to be replaced by reds, browns, oranges, and yellows.  The air became more sharp.  And, if possible, I fell more deeply in love with the land.

Fall made way for winter.  The multitude of colors became a duo-tone video.  White as far as the eye could see with patches of evergreen below.  Silence greeted me and wrapped me in its cold embrace. And in the distance horizon, I saw a snow covered mountain range.  In the middle stood one mountain, ruler over them all. Towering over them, it proclaimed his superiority.

I knew not how I knew, there was were I was headed.  As I approached, one second I would see a face carved in to the mountain, looking at me pensively.  The next stood a kingdom chiseled into the rocks.  And then, just as I figured I knew what I beheld, nothing but a ancient mountain loomed before me.  Cycling through it went as I flew ever nearer.

Snow began to fall - light, wet, like a lover's kisses when they first wake up and greet you in the morning.  And then more passionately it fell.  I began to worry as the snow turned from gentle kisses to rough clasps.  Soon the blizzard came, and I knew I was close, oh so close, but all I could see was white before me.  I was gripped, squeezed, restrained and yet I continued forward towards my goal.

And then, like the sudden jolt you get when the power goes out, I was inside a large pavilion.  I came to a stand still and looped around.  The scene behind me was of a peaceful snow covered forest.  Gone was the storm I had battled.  A sound, to my side, caught my attention and I started.  "We have been waiting for you, Lady," spoke an old man I could only describe as Merlin, robes and all.  And quick as that, I was grabbed, gentle, oh so gently, and placed in a gilded cage. 

At first I was scared.  The man spoke no more, but my fear was swiftly overcome by wonder as I took in my surroundings.  I could never do them justice, so I will not even try: beautiful, opulent, classic is all I can say.  A maze of passages, we walked, as I quickly lost all sense of direction.  I enjoyed the show instead.  I wasn't aware my mind was capable of creating such splendor.

And then, in the distance, I heard the murmur of people.  Lots of people.  They grew louder as we reached a set of double doors craved with mahogany, trimmed with silver, and laced with rubies that sparkled in candle's light.

The doors opened of their own accord and a hush developed.  I tried to huddle in my cage but found the roundness not cooperating.  I was suddenly nervous as each pair of eyes was focused on me.  Hundreds of them.

The man was slowly heading down an aisle that divided the people into two groups.  I vaguely was aware of a throne sitting at the end of this journey but was too fixated on the people glaring at me.  But, my attention was soon turned elsewhere when the man sat my cage upon the throne and opened the door.  He stepped back without turning his back to me.  Ten feet away, he bowed, "Lady," as if beckoning me.

I hopped, once, twice.  I exited.  Spreading my tiny wings I attempted to fly high, but I only got so far before a pain choked me.  I felt like my whole mass was being shoved into a infantile sphere.  And then I exploded.  I was no longer a bird but myself.  No, that isn't right. I was myself but not myself.  I felt like I had a thin film, that had always coated my body, disappear.  I was me as I was.  I was me as I always should have been.  I was me as I will be.

Naked, my feet sunk to the ground.  As my bare soles touched the cold stone floor, I wanted to run and cover myself.  I wanted to hide from all those eyes glazing at me.  But something whispered, "Don't".  And like dominos, the crowd started to kneel before me, starting with the old man who had carried me here.  I swore, I could just make out a smile on his face as he proclaimed to me, "Welcome home, Lady."

And then I awoke.  Last night, I experienced the most poignant and vivid dream I have ever had.  I woke thinking, just for a moment, I had fallen asleep and entered dreamland.