2 Bras Poorer

I just spent $120 dollars on a strapless bra and a swimsuit top made like a bra.  Turns out I'm a 34F now which means I have to spend a shit load of money if I want a bra that size.

Seems I can't lose weight in my girlie bits - thighs, ass, hips, boobs.

MBA

So, I really had no desire to ever get an advanced degree, but lately I've been so bored, I'm seriously considering going back to get an MBA.  It will keep  me busy for the next 3 years but set me back $100,000.

I need to weigh the pros and the cons.

Mainly, since it doesn't look like I'm ever going to get a husband and family to take care of, I might as well focus on being solely a career woman.

Time UnTimed

5,125 years ago, an advanced humanoid race of species went exploring the universe.  In their journey, they visited the planet Earth.  They found the planet inhabited by a primitive species of humans and so they hide their superior technology and mingled with the humans.

This alien group was led by the 2^nd son of their ruler.  While on Earth, the 2^nd son fell in love with one of the native girls.  However, the chieftain’s son and heir to the tribe also desired this girl.  The tribe’s custom was such that the Chieftain’s son should have his pick of brides from among all the women.  Incensed that the girl he wanted loved another, he had her killed rather than let another have her.

This in turned, angered the 2^nd son.  He and his men left only to return with all their technology and power.  They appeared as gods to the primitive tribe.   As payment for the girl’s life, the 2^nd son demanded the life of the chieftain’s son.  Despairing of losing their next leader, all the tribe begged and pleaded for forgiveness and mercy.

The 2^nd son agreed to spare the chieftain’s son provided that someone else, of their own free will, volunteered to take his place.  After 7 day’s time, no one had come forward to take the chieftain’s son place.  Having seen the true nature of these humans, the 2^nd son destroyed them all but spared the chieftain’s son.

The 2^nd son told the chieftain’s son that the death of his people was payment for the girl’s life he had taken.  He would spare his own life, but the debt of one other person’s life, offer of their own free will, was yet to be paid.  The 2^nd son said he would return 5,125 years from this day (one year for for each day the girl had lived) to collect the debt owed.

Fear in his heart, the now lone chieftain’s son wandered to a neighboring tribe and told his story: of gods from a far off planet, his destroyed tribe, and the end of time 5,125 years from now.  The chieftain’s son soon was known for being crazy and was laughed at by all who heard him.  As time passed, people forgot about the crazy chieftain’s son but, somehow, from generation to generation, the end of time,  5,125 years hence, continued forward.  And so it was that the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar listed the time untimed 5,125 years hence on December 21, 2012.

Married/Seperated

I can't even begin to describe the disdain I have for married or separated people who try (or do) cheat or date others while they are still married.  Separated = married.  No, if, ands, or buts.

When someone who is separated messages me, I politely tell them I'm not interested in married men and wish them luck.  When they message me back with some sob story about why they are not divorced, how they are almost divorced, or why I should give them props for being honest about their martial status - I am not so polite anymore.

First, married men are not even on my radar as potential mates. So, until you are divorced, you are off limits to a girl like me. Second, even after your divorce, my experience tells me that you would not be ready for a serious relationship for at least a year. I'm looking for marriage, not a roll in the hay. I'm a girl who is worth more than that. Third, any guy who thinks it is okay to date other women when he is still married, even if separated, if not the type of man I'm looking for. Our core beliefs about love, relationships, loyalty, and marriage differ too much.

There is some switch in my head that doesn't make me even vaguely attracted to attached men (married, engaged, or in a relationship).  My friend went to lunch today in an area which is populated by a lot of soldiers.  She texted me, "So many soldiers, so little you."  But you know, if these men are in a relationship, no matter how hunkilious (and I do love me a military man) I just can't get turned on if they are not single.  Single eye candy = good.  Attached eye candy = not eye candy.

Day Spa Coming to You

So, you know how there are the health, wellness, and fitness resorts that people pay tons of money to stay at for a week?  They might lose 5 pounds and then gain it all back when they return home?  You know they ones.  I had an idea for a spa company that comes to you rather than you going to them.  They come into your life and your home and guide and make over everything to help lead you to a happier you.

I think it wouldn't be cheap, but it is a cool and interesting idea.

Trouble With Weight Loss - Losing It For Myself Now

I had this same problem a year ago, when I was 175.  No matter what, I couldn't get past the 175ish mark.  I started gaining and I couldn't tell why.  Now, the same thing is happening again.  I can't get past the 165ish mark.  I got down just past 163 and then shot up 8 pounds in a week (don't ask my how I gained 8 pounds when I was eatting just like normal but hiking all day long each day).  The next week I lost a pound a day until I got back to 165.  I can't seem to get past that mark.

Up to this point, all the past 4 years (almost 5 now) have been to lose weight to get a man.  That and that alone.  Based on the last online dating message, it made me realize that no matter how much weight I lose or how hard I try - it is never going to be good enough.  If I lose another 35 pounds are the guys going to magically like me at 130?  At 165 the amount of attentions I'm getting is barely higher than what I got at 260.   So, I really don't think so.

I think my singleness isn't based on my weight so much as the fact that I'm never going to be good enough for a guy that *I want*.

I'm a fucking awesome woman.  I'm not for everyone.  Some men like crazy stupid fucked up sluts.  But if you are not one of those men, I'm your marriage material wet dream.  I'm easy going and fun.  I tell you what I want and what I'm thinking rather then saying "you should know."  I'm not a purse chaser.  I'm high maintenance enough to look good for you but low maintenance enough that your quality of life won't be effected by my high maintenance.  I'm loyal and would never cheat.  I'm considerate.  I would treat you like a king.  I love sex and would fuck you however, whenever, and as much as you would like.  I'm not bat ass crazy.  I'm educated and smart.  I have  a fucking good job.  I'm not a slut.  I don't have a baby, baby daddy, ex, or STD drama.  I haven't slept with a small town.  I don't smoke and don't do drugs.  I don't have a record.  I'm not in debt - I actually have a savings.  I have moral, I'm honest, and I live with a level of integrity that is foreign to most people.  I don't play games. I'm considerate of you and not everything is about me me me.  In short, I'm perfect...

Except...

I'm fat and ugly...

And you know what...

I don't fucking care anymore...

Guys can't kept there hot ass stupid hoes who they will end up divorcing 5 years later...

I'm losing weight for myself now...

So that 20 years from now when you hate your 260 fat as bitch of a wife, you can drool over my 50 year old self that looks like a 130 pound 30 year old hot piece of ass.

If I'm not good enough for you at 165, you're not good enough for me at 130.