Still Not Doing Good

I went to bed last night at 5:30.  I was partly tired because I hadn't gotten a good night's rest the previous night but mainly I was depressed and lonely.  I slept a tad better than the night before.

I woke early and made some pastries for breakfast.  They had been on my list of things to bake.  They tasted good, even if they are not good for you.

This morning has been somewhat productive.  I took the Christmas tree down and put away all the christmas decorations.  I did laundry.  Put away the dishes and cleaned the kitchen.  Cleaned around the house.  Now, I just need to run out and do grocery shopping.  After that, I plan on exercising.  Then I need to paint my nails.  After that, I don't know what I'm going to do.

The stress of work is wearing me thin.

Stressed

Ever since Christmas, I've been stressed.  I've been stressed about work, I've been stressed about losing weight, or in my case, not losing weight, and I've been stressed about getting started doing all the things I want to do this year - like getting the mole removed on my back and getting the hair on my face and chin removed, and getting this busted mucus cell on my lip fixed.

Apparently the doctor is closed until the 3rd which means we probably won't get an appointment until February.  IMO, unacceptable.  Appointment in February means not getting anything started until March!

Last night, I couldn't even sleep.  I kept tossing and turning. 

I think the mucus cell will heal completely which is why I haven't gone back to the dentist to move forward with it.  Well, I'm giving it a few more days to see if it does disappear completely.

Next month an encore of Aida is showing.  I decided to purchase a ticket and go.  I'll look like a dorkie loser by myself but what is a girl to do.  I have no escort.  Story of my life.

Positive for January 2013

I spent some time today getting ready for the new year at work.  I think I'm going to try to write nothing but positive things for all of January 2013.  It might be a challenge, but I want to try.

Something's in the Air for 2013

I sense that 2013 is going to be game changing.  I don't know if it is going to be good or bad.  I could finally lose the remaining weight and find a guy who wants me.  Or, I could finally become at peace with the realization that I will always be alone and that marriage, love, being wanted, kids, and a family of my own is not in the cards for me.

I've been contacted by two guys but neither is doing anything for me.  I'm sure they are nice guys but...  One is 39, divorced, with a 12 year old kid, who lives an hour and a half away.  The other has a heart disease, can't drive, can't work, and is constantly sick. 

Neither is in a position to pamper me.  In fact, both would need me to cater to them to make it work - and you know what?  I'm through being the nice girl.  No one really truly wants the nice girl and on top of all that, she gets jack shit for it.  So, say la vie.

This year, it is going to be all about me and what I want. 

Christmas Eve and Christmas

Same old same old.  Nothing new to tell.  Christmas Eve was spent over at my parents.  We always cook a bunch of snack foods and eat them in the evening as a party.  We watched part of "How to Train Your Dragon."  I filled the stockings and then left for the night.

Christmas morning I headed back over to my folks.  It wasn't all that great.  Dad was in a bad mood which put me in a bad mood.  Grandma threw up which ruined everything for everyone as we paused for an hour cleaning the mess up.  Yes, it did take that long when you have a 5 foot 3 165 pound baby to clean up.  Things got better afterwards except the house was so hot and whenever I tried to turn the fan on my Grandma would yell about it being too cold and so it would be shut off again.  Sigh.

Christmas lunch came after opening presents.  It was good.  I packed a little bit for later and then headed back home.

I didn't get anything surprising for Christmas.  I knew exactly what was what which was a bit disappointing.  And my brother didn't get me anything which was hurtful.  I hate when people do one present to count for both my birthday and Christmas.  All in all, not a spectacular Christmas, but then, when is it ever.

For Christmas I got a

• Standing KitchenAid Mixer and some attachments for it.
• Christmas China - Plates, Bowls, Cups, and Appetizer plates.
• Rechargeable Batteries
• A Smurf Oranament
• Crayons and a Strawberry Shortcake Coloring Book
• Tinker Bell Sandwich Bags
• $50
• A Book about Stationary and Decorations with Paper 
• Small Hello Kitty Plush Toy
• Cherry purse with matching wallet

 Now that Christmas is over, I'm really starting to panic about work.  I have a lot to get done by the end of this month and I'm starting to stress if I can get it all done.

Birthday - 33

If I was to choose one gift from the Almighty Lord, it would be that of beauty because there is nothing more powerful in this world than a beautiful woman.

Another birthday has come and gone.  I went over to my parent's at lunch time for tacos, opened presents, and then went to Olive Garden for a slice of Black Tie Mouse Cake for my birthday cake.

For my birthday, I got:

Cowboy Boots
Age 7, 8, and 9 Precious Moments Disney Princess Age Train figurines
Lady Antebellum Tickets
2 x pairs of Hiking Socks
Smurf T-Shirt
$50
Carry On Bag that came free with the Boots

I went home around 4:00 and then around 7:00 I drove around looking at Christmas lights for about and hour before heading on home.

I realized I hadn't purchased anything for myself specifically for my Birthday.  I need to think about what I would like and get it.

Happy Birthday Dear!

 

Birthday Eve

Yesterday was a pretty good day.  I woke early, as I always do, and spent the morning baking my strawberry pink camo nerdy hello kitty with cream cheese icing birthday cake.  It turned out really cute.  I spent the afternoon exercising and cleaning around the place.   In the evening, my mother and I went to Fiesta Texas.  The Christmas event was better than the Halloween one, but still not worth buying a ticket for.  We did see carolers there, and that was very enjoyable.

I plan to see Lady Antebellum in February.  I have asked my brother if he wishes to come with me, but I need to know his answers soon because I want to purchase tickets by the end of this month.  I also want to see the Hobbit but I plan on waiting until January when they crowds will be less - at least, that is my thinking.

As  I drove home last night, I detoured to look at Christmas lights on people's houses.  I was sad at the magical Christmas feeling that I lost and have failed to rekindle somehow.  But, you know, as I was driving, for the first time, I felt like everything was going to turn out alright in the end.  But, I just had to be very very patient.  It might be 20 years, but I think maybe, somewhere along the line, I'll get a little moment of happiness.