My Mr. G.C.F,
By your own admission, I am an intelligent and very intuitive person. Indeed, I am. It is almost like I can see the future. However, I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt. I believe in free will. I believe in allowing people to make their own choices in life. If you still retained them, I suggest you re-read our last set of email correspondences. You will find them eerie in how well I predicted the outcome of our last encounter despite your adamant denial that I was correct. So, given my propensity towards being insightful and correct, I urge you to take my next words with the gravity they deserve.
My darling Tiger, I am so sorry that you were hurt so severely by a woman in your past. She caused more damage than even you or I could ever imagine. She wounded you to your core. She caused you to stop and drop everything you were doing in your life and enlist in the military. To enlist at your age is very rare - which should have signify to all the depth of the situation.
Even though many years of passed, you have not allowed yourself to properly deal with that past situation. You have not sorted yourself out, you have not healed, and you have not repaired the damage that was done. What you did was run away.
And that is okay. Sometimes all we can do is run away until we come out of the shock. It is our soul's way of protecting ourselves. The first year you enlisted, you were so tired and busy you didn't have much time to think or feel about the situation. Your second year, you were busy creating a new life for yourself. Your third year, the pain has lessened, you wanted to move forward, and you want to find love. However, no where in there did you take the time to reflect and untangle all the knots this lady created. Until you do so, you will never be able to more forward and have a healthy, happy, and lasting relationship.
Dispite what people may think, the keys to a healthy, happy, and lasting relationship are not a secret and they don't vary from person to person. They are set in stone and are very easy. Talk to anyone who has been in a 30+ year relationship and they will all tell you the same things for their success. Talk to anyone who floats from one unsuccessful relationship to the next and they will tell you all the different things which are important to a "successful" relationship.
My dearest love, I believe deep down you know what is important for a successful relationship. I simply believe that the wound on your heart and the scars you bare have made you forget that piece of wisdom. My Tiger, I urge you to grow, heal, and regain the wisdom you need to be successful with love. Stop dating, stop searching, and focus on yourself and your growth. I know you are in a place right now where that should be your focus. Take advantage fully of the opportunity in front of you. Learn to see with your heart, mind, and soul and not with your eyes. Then, and only then, will you have a chance of the happiness you seek and I know you deserve.
I know, from the depths of my heart, that one day you will regret your decision. It might be 3 months from now, it might be 5 years from now, but one day you will realize you made the biggest mistake of your life. And I am so terribly sorry that I won't be able to take you back. I told you this was your last chance. I warned you not to make the biggest mistake in your life. I urged you to choose carefully.
You say it was the kink which kept drawing you back. Oh, my poor baby. How terrible wrong you are. How blinded you are by your wounded and fearful soul. It was not the kink. It was the deep, amazing, special, precious connection of our souls.
There was no kink. It is impossible for someone of my sexual experience to have a kink such as you speak of. Many of the things you spoke of, I flat out told you would never happen. Some of the things you spoke of turned me off. A few turned me on. The majority, I was indifferent too. You saw my high libido, my nature to want to please my man, and our strong bond and twisted it into what you wanted it to be.
I am so sorry you threw away the best thing that ever happened to you. I am so sorry that you let your Goddess slip through your fingers. I pray that you work on fixing your broken soul. I hope you learn the wisdom you are lacking. Learn to see with your heart, mind, and soul rather than your eyes.
My heart knew this was the most likely outcome and I have spent the last few weeks mentally fortifying myself for it. I hoped it wouldn't come to this but, alas, that hope was not to be realized. Know that with this posting, I am closing this chapter of my life and making my peace with you. I will never think of you again after this. Goodbye Forever.
Love to you Always,
Your Goddess
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Oh, how I know your pain. I too have always had that incredible ability to see. I have cursed it more than once in my life. But, I promise you, Beautiful Goddess, that you will find your Mo Annum Cara(forever soul mate). I found mine when I least expected it, and we helped to heal each other of the things that we, ourselves, could not heal alone. He is my everything and I, his. I am so deeply sorry that you had to say good bye to someone you so obviously felt so much for. But know that you are not alone. And you WILL find someone who sees you and only you.
ReplyDeleteFrom one Beautiful Goddess to another,
Tracy