Unhappy

I'm unhappy.  No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to change those things which make me unhappy, no matter how hard I chase happiness... it never comes to me.

I've finally realized that unhappiness is like chronic pain for me.  I will always have to live and deal with it.  The unhappiness isn't something that is fleeting.  It isn't like I'm happy sometimes and unhappy sometimes.  No, it is always there, just under the surface.  Unhappiness.  It flavors everything I do.

My unhappiness stems for the need to belong, be wanted, and being loved.  I want a family damn it.  I want to love and be loved.  I want a husband and children!  It is a void in my life.  A rift that is growing larger and larger each day - like a black hole sucking happiness away.  And unless I find those things, I can never be whole.